Monday, July 03, 2006

UFC: ULTIMATE FIGHTING CATS

(Via) With my cat allergies, these two cats could totally kick my ass. But they are so cute, I wouldn't mind.

KEYSTONE FEDS THINK ALL ASIANS LOOK ALIKE

(Via) Hui Ping Wang, a New Jersey woman, was returning from a trip to China with her husband when feds at JFK airport, thinking her a fugitive, arrested Ms. Wang. She was held at Rikers Island for eight days. The catch?
Hui Ping Wang and her husband, Jiang Hong, pointed out that the fugitive had a different middle name, a different address, date of birth and Social Security number, according to a lawsuit filed in Brooklyn Federal Court. Also, a photo attached to the warrant did not resemble Wang, the suit brought by Wang and Hong states.
So yea, it was a case of mistaken identity and now the Wangs are suing every government agency involved. I say, sue on girlfriend! To read more...Click Here.

SISQO WHO?

Here's Sisqo making a recent appearance at some PR event (looks like LG). Has it really been that long since the summer of thong, thong, thong? That summer, it seemed as though this man was on every channel (well, if the channels were limited to MTV and BET). Looks like he's been keeping up his membership at Equinox, but if I was him, I'd spend less time doing ab crunches with my solarshockflex machine and instead, put in more quality time at the studio. I know the "Thong Song" was popular, but it wasn't that popular. Hell if MC Hammer and Michael Jackson can go bankrupt, so can damn Sisqo. Unrelatedly, am I the only one that thinks Sisqo is also downlow? (Hey that rhymed!)

THIS MAKES ME LAUGH

(Via) The dog wants some of what the cat is eating and the cat is all like, "Aw hell no bitch. I ain't going down like that. Talk to ma' paw. Talk to ma' mothafuckin' paw! You wanna eat some of this? Eat my mothafuckin' paw like the little bitch that you are!" (Click on image if it doesn't appear to be moving)

CAN'T GOOGLE IT? CALL THE LIBRARY.

(Via) If you've want an answer to a question, just dial 212-340-0849 between Monday and Saturday from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Your call will be answered by one of ten telephone reference research librarians at the New York Public Library.
A schoolboy once asked if there were "cultural institutions" close to Coney Island. The researcher asked why. Because, said the frustrated youth, "I want to go to Coney Island today, but my father says I have to do something cultural first." [...] The reference service has been around, in a limited way, for as long as telephones have been available in homes. But it was only in 1968 that the service was organized as a separate library unit. Today, it can be found in a quiet room at the Mid-Manhattan branch at 455 Fifth Avenue, catercorner to the main branch with the two stone lions, Patience and Fortitude. Phones don't ring there; they light. The 10 researchers range in age from their 20s to 60s and have degrees in elementary education, chemistry, mechanical engineering and criminal justice, as well as one PhD in English literature. [...] Under library rules, each inquiry must be answered in less than five minutes, meaning the caller gets an answer or somewhere to go for an answer--like a specialty library, trade group or Web site. Researchers cannot call back questioners. The deadline is meant, in part, to focus the staffer's attention. "Otherwise," Shalat said, "once we get going, we would never stop." Almost all telephone calls are in English, although researchers can get by in Chinese, Spanish, German and some Yiddish. Specialty libraries, like the Slavic and Baltic division, can lend a hand with, say, Albanian.
that sounds like a pretty interesting job. Ken Jennings of Jeopardy fame should work there. To read more...Click Here

PARIS HILTON'S HAS ANOTHER SONG

I don't want to ruin your weekend, but Paris Hilton has released another song.

I LIKE SUPERMAN (NOT THAT WAY...NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT)

I saw Superman in DIGITALLL PROJECTION-TION-TION on Thursday night. Digital Projection isn't IMAX, but the clarity is pretty sweet. So, while the dialogue occasionally dipped into the cheesy territory (although I suspect this is unavoidable when making a movie based on a comic book character, particularly one that wears red and blue tights), it was a pretty super movie. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend you go check it out (and go early to get good seats). I just can't believe they actually killed him in the end. That's quite an ending. I'm curious as to how they will revive him in the (sure to be) sequel. And he's also totally gay. I mean, look for god's sake!--Rainbows from his fingertips:

MOM HAS AIDS

This is an addendum to my recap below. In the restroom at the Japanese restaurant on St. Marks, someone wrote on the wall "I had sex with your mom." Below it, someone else rejoined, "Haha. The joke's on you. She has AIDS."

LAST NIGHT'S PARTY

To say goodbye to Hussain before he embarks on his European adventure, Kaizar organized one final get together at to wish him well at Kush Lounge in LES. We walked in not knowing there were live performances (which incidentally were terrible) and we got ambushed for "suggested" donations. I guess I got my 2 dollars worth. Not. But despite that, the space in Kush is quite cool. Ya'll should check it out some weekend. Anyhoo. Just a few pictures from the night. K&M Hussain and Kaizar enjoying some puffing action. H & M Contrary to my disposition in this photo, I was having fun! M & L I title this photo: LOOK AT MY ELBOW BITCHES! Haha. Me chillin' with Kaizar's roommate Lauren. Lauren also brought her friend whose name is also Lauren (Lauren #2). As we all know, NYC can get pricey and most of us have to budget what we spend on drinks. So after a few drinks, Lauren #2 asks us whether we think it's cool if she busts out the vodka she had brought with her in her purse. I thought she meant those tiny bottles of alcohol that airlines will give you. Nope. This homegirl busts out a big ass Tupperware container: Tupperware Lauren keeps it real "country." After the party dispersed, Kaizar and I got some grub at St. Marks (Memo to self: If I eat chicken fried rice wrapped in an omelette after midnight, I will pay for it the next morning). And then we decided to play some pool so we walked to Houston but as soon as we got there, the place was closing. Then we got some dessert at a bodega and headed home via the 6.

MEKHI PFIFER'S GAL

(Via) I woulda thought Future would date a better girl than some import car model:

PREGNANT BRITNEY ISN'T TOO BIZARRE FOR BAZAAR MAG

(Via) I think it's time for Britney to get a new publicist. An upcoming Harper's Bazaar features a naked and very pregnant Britney on the cover along with a photospread inside. I think Harpers should rename the magazine Bizarre. Har har har. These pictures might be NSFW, so if your boss if looking over your shoulder, skip this one. Yuck. The freelance photoshopper on this assignment was reportedly paid a million dollars and Britney's next baby (I know it's medically impossible, but her third child will be due in three months). Also, Demi Moore released a terse statement to the press that said, "Britney Spears is a copycat and a whore."

LAST NIGHT'S PARTY - JUNE 27, 2006

On Monday night, I made a bit of a last minute visit to West 27th Street and met up with Lauren and Mike. Lauren's friend was working the door at BED. IMG_7126.JPG Mike says "Wha?? Going out on a Monday night??" IMG_7123.JPG Mike and Lauren getting their groove on. IMG_7127.JPG Word association? Unfortunate. IMG_7128.JPG Dude rocking the cane. IMG_7129.JPG The ladies apparently love the cane and leg brace. Cane man told us (Said he was a promoter--Who isn't a promoter in this City?) that the hot party that night was at Cain down the street. Once we got there, there was definitely a crowd trying to get in. Cane man acted like he was all hooked up, but his crippled ass had to wait in line just like everyone else. He was only let in after he bought a table (6 Benjis). At some point, Mike, Lauren and I had waited so long to get in at Cain that we couldn't leave. So we waited patiently. Twice they announced that the doors were "closed." Liars! Haha. One girl started yelling at the bouncers and door people that they were racist and only letting in white people. As if on cue, this skinny white dude comes marching up, unhooks the rope himself and lets himself in. The crazy bitch starts going off right then and there about this white dude. Apparently he had been in there already and had a "stamp," but that didn't matter to crazy woman. The door people tried stopping the white dude to make him show his stamp. He waved them off and walked in to the club while muttering about how "ridiculous this was." White privilege right there. Haha. This same chick reappeared 20 minutes later and tried to walk in because she now had a 'stamp.' The bouncers and the doorwoman told her they remembered her and she wasn't getting in at all tonight. In her defense, they were letting in some really wack people but hey, if I was running a place where people were willing to pay 600 minimum for a table, I'd let in Pol Pot if he was willing to throw down his credit card. Another guy erupted at one of the door guys because he couldn't get in either. This dude went off. He started yelling about how he's got 50 g's around his wrist and how if he ever ran into the door dude, he'd "wreck" him. This guy then came back into the line to show off his watch (It WAS shiny and heavy looking) worth 50 g's (according to him). And while I couldn't quite see what it was, he pulled out some sketchbook to show his stuff. Lauren and Mike saw it. We were thinking why the hell he was carrying a sketchbook. When he eventually left, his final parting shot to the door dude was "And you ain't even pretty." Hahaha. OUCH! Eventually, they would only let in two of us, which is wack. Defeated we finally left. I've never really waited in line to get in anywhere so this was a first for me. Chalk it up for a NYC memory. And you ain't even pretty!

SUPERMAN IS JUST SUPER ON MYSPACE

I logged onto the main website for the Superman Returns movie to double check when it opens and on the site, it had a link to its Myspace page prominently placed on the front page. So I clicked on it (No worries Moye--No pink). Superman is not only faster than a speeding bullet, but he can also obtain friends faster than anyone I know. He currently has 63,172 friends (and counting...). He's so popular. Anyway, I noticed that this movie is also playing in "Digital Projection" at some theaters. I don't know what this means, but it sounds pretty bad ass. And in related comic book-to-movie news, check out the first trailer for Spiderman 3 here. It looks sweet, but I'm not sure how they are going to incorporate the rather abstruse and even bizarre (to those uninitiated to the comic book world) origin of Venom. I just got a community card that says "Skip go and do not collect 200 dollars" for being such a dork. Well, I doubt either movie will beat Aquaman's opening weekend numbers.

WOMAN FEARS PICKLES

Life is indeed stranger than fiction. Evidence: A girl with a phobia of pickles. Yup, pickles.

LIMBAUGH'S VIAGRA RUSH

Nicole sent me this and it amused me. Rush Limbaugh was detained at the airport for possessing some Viagra without a prescription.
U.S. Customs and Border Protection examined the 55-year-old radio commentator’s luggage after his private plane landed at the airport from the Dominican Republic, said Miller. The matter was referred to the sheriff’s office, whose investigators interviewed Limbaugh. According to Miller, Limbaugh said that the Viagra was for his use, and that he obtained it from his doctors. Investigators confiscated the drugs, which treats erectile dysfunction, and Limbaugh was released without being charged. The sheriff’s office plans to file a report with the state attorney’s office. Miller said it could be a second-degree misdemeanor violation.
His source is probably Bill Clinton. To read more...Click Here--although you probably don't want to read more about this at all.

Monday, June 26, 2006

WEEKEND UPDATE

[WARNING: Lots of pictures and words] Friday was uneventful. Sat at home and worked on a couple cover letters. On Saturday Jessica and I drove out to Gloucester, Massachusetts for Winer's engagement party. Fun Gloucester Trivia: - Gloucester was used as the setting for the hit film featuring Marky Mark, "The Perfect Storm." - Gloucester used to be a very well-known area for the import of drugs, especially heroin. Until the 80's it was known as the "heroin capital of the United States," until Baltimore apparently beat it out for the title. Fishermen are very often involved in smuggling drugs into the little city, in which they are later distributed to other bigger cities, such as nearby Boston. - According to the 2000 census, with a total population of approx. 30,000 people, 96.99% of Gloucester is white, 1.48% Hispanic or Latino, 0.72% Asian, 0.61% African American, 0.12% Native American, and 0.02% Pacific Islander. - Whoopi Goldberg summers in Gloucester and tends bar at Captain Carlos'. During the summers, the black population of Goucester jumps from 0.61% to 1.2%. Enough with the factoids. On to exciting Hallmark pictures. Gloucester, MA 2 On the drive through the town to the house. The weather was solidly in the median of the crappy meteorological forecast. Very overcast. But if you squint, you can make out the (ginormous) beachfront houses. Gloucester, MA View of foggy water. Yay. Jess walking We were one of the first guests at the house. After we mingled for a bit, we decided to check out the backyard (how sick is that? Oh wait, it's too foggy to see anything) and to... Matteo Jumps jump! Haha. When I was younger, my parents prohibited this sort of childish and unruly behavior in public. Jessica Jumps Jessica shows off her new bag. Gucci? More like Chintzy. Just kidding. Captain Morgan The Captain definitely makes an appearance wherever alcohol is available--but drink responsibly and don't drink and steer. Har har. The squishing hand of god. Jumping gets a little old. So how 'bout the ol' hand of god photo? fighting the squish Ha ha. Posing like this can make one feel like an idiot, but look at the result, people! Art requires sacrifice including one's pride. drip drop At least the rain lets me take "oooh, I'm going to use the macro feature to take artsy photos of dew drops" photos like this. Now sing with me! Rain drops on roses... peace "Um, I think all this water isn't too good for these chairs..." pop color the question Since the weather wasn't cooperating, the color that day was provided by plates and napkins. lobster bibs can't prevent all accidents Drew (I think that's his name)looking down at his shirt that now needs to be laundered after his lobster demonstrates its overall unhappiness with getting cooked alive by squirting on him. poor guy Poor fella. I care about the humane treatment of animals and therefore, I had the steak instead. post-attack What lobster nightmares are made of. I was going to make a joke here about Sebastian from Little Mermaid but then I thought one of you would annoyingly point out that Sebastian is a crab and not a lobster. Jesse' sister, Steph and Steph's friend Look at all the old people in the background. Haha. Anyone under the age of 30 was seated at our table. Stephanie (middle) escaping her hosting duties by hanging out with us young folk. Groom and his men Winer (middle) with his two groomsmen. Drew will be responsible for booking the group parachuting event and I'm responding for holding onto all the single dollar bills. Just kidding...about the parachuting. As I told Jessica: Minorities don't jump out of planes willingly. I'm not showing my pearly whites here because I thought I had corn stuck between my teeth. After dinner, the happy couple went to the backyard for some... jump jumps! Haha. Winer making his people look good by demonstrating that Jewish people can indeed "get some air." missed hi 5 Stephanie and Winer going for an airborne high five. Barish-na-cough Winer channeling the great ballet dancer, Baryishnikov (I know I destroyed the spelling--oh well). Bruce Willis Jumps Even Bruce Willis got into the spirit of things there and went for his own jump. Not bad for an old guy. Steph and Jesse The happy couple posing in front of their pride week supporting table cloth. Har har. I remember when we were just dorky freshmen and although I was initally totally confused because I thought Winer was Canadian (turns out he was just another Masshole), we quickly became friends, particularly over our mutual love of the movie, "Swingers." One day in college, we were eating in the "Ratty" and we tried to coerce Winer to get up on the table and renact the same scene from Swingers where Trent (played by a pre-Aniston and then-nobody Vince Vaughn) after a night of drinking with his boys, stands up on the table in the diner, takes off his shirt, waves it around and pronounces to everyone that his boy "Mickey"--who got a girl's phone number that night--was "all growns up now." Well, Winer assured us that he'd do it when he was good and drunk during Spring Weekend, but he never did follow through with it--Kind of like the promise I made to myself every semester that I'd do some community service, which remained just that--a promise. We are no longer freshmen in college, but I think I can safely say that Winer is now truly all growns up. A neurosurgury career and a wedding around the next corner is evidence of that. I know you read this, so congratulations, man. Just like the way you used to clean up after my 2 am Ramen dinners, I'll be there to clean up after you at your bachelor party. I'm kidding. No matter how mature and how "growns up" you may be getting, you're still going to be the Batman loving, Boxy Volvo driving, Swedish fish eating Canuck to me. Congratulations Jesse (and Stephanie)! Whether you know him or not, leave your best xanga wishes to him here in the guestbook section. UNRELATEDLY Congrats as well to Chris for his stellar performance on Jeopary (Previously blogged about here). Check him out on Monday.

Friday, March 04, 2005

PEACE OUT...TO MY TWO READERS

So blogger is really lonely. You can resume your stalking at my other site where I'm more popular and people really love me. www.xanga.com/mrod See you around, Matteo

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

This Is What I Do While I'm On The Phone


Tuesday/Wednesday

My week thus far has been relatively uneventful. And if my liver was Marth Stewart, she'd say, "That's a good thing." I drank way too much. And although I went for a run today, I think I would have to run a marathon to burn off all the beer imbibed by me this past weekend. According to Nutritionbite.com: If you consume an average of 3 mixed drinks on three different nights a week, you will gain a pound every two weeks! That's my PSA (public service announcement) for all you drunk alcoholic fatties out reading this. That's why I drink Michelob Ultra. Not. My drinks of choice: Amstel Light and Goose & Tonic. The same website argues that even during social situations -- to not gain weight -- women should limit their drink to one drink per day. This would also negate the beer goggle effect for women. And that's a good or bad thing depending on your perspective. Interesting stuff, right? Anyhoo. I know rumors are flying around that Apple is releasing new mini-ipods very soon (eg. Tomorrow perhaps). Although I'm excited at seeing what's coming, I feel a little sick to my stomach because I just received mine a month ago as a birthday present...and although I totally heart it, I'm sure I'm going to covet the new mini's. That's the problem with technology: obsolescence. Speaking of technology, it is physically impossible for me to play Halo 2 on Xbox Live for less than at least two hours. I've tried firing it up for a quick 30 minute break 'fragging' random strangers...only to find myself forcing myself to turn off my Xbox a few hours later. If any of ya'll wanna take me on in the following games on Xbox Live, hit me up. My gamertag is "MattRod." I have these games for on-line play: Halo 2 (of course). Guilty Gear X2 Project Gotham Racing 2 Top Spin I'm a dork. Speaking of being a nerdork, I was in the library tonight and these two kids sitting across from me were goofing around and the girl stuck gum on the guy's arm. You're thinking, "whatever." Except this guy had mad hairy arms and they ended up spending the next hour trying to pick the gum off his arm hair, around which his skin was bright red. Memo to ya'll: Don't stick gum on anyone. This reminds me of high school when some girl put gum in this guy's hair. He had to cut it off. Doh. Actually, I heard peanut butter will get gum out of hair. In other news, in the world of Asian American related issues going on, one of my favoritist bloggers, the Angry Asian Man hits us up with a couple items:
:: Yao Ming opens a restaurant in Houston. That would be Houston, Texas. Not Houston Street in downtown Manhattan. Oh yea, and it will serve Chinese food. In case you were wondering. :: There's a new "Asian-culture" magazine coming to a news stand near you in March. It's titled Theme. Hopefully this one will stick around longer than 6 months... :: The dope actor, Kal Penn from Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle is going to be in the new "Superman" movie. Yay for Asians in Hollywood. Fo' reals.
Okay, here are a few funny/sad/crazy pictures from yahoo news: And lastly, I'm REALLY FUCKING EXCITED ABOUT THIS (and I'm putting in all caps just in case you don't understand the extent of my EXCITEMENT): The movie adaption of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy featuring....Mos Def and TIM FROM "THE OFFICE!" This guy (who I always call by his character's name from the BBC genius show, The Office") is rapidly becoming my favorite actor. See the trailer here.

Monday, February 21, 2005

WTF NEWS OF THE DAY

Regarding Hunter S. Thompson...Fuckin' A. .

Celebrity Ketchup

I've had some quality hotdogs sitting around in my fridge and due to a lack of ketchup and mustard, I haven't had a chance to eat them until today. On my way home after class, I stopped by the deli and picked up the relevant condiments. The ketchup however, in particular, was special. Like "outta-this-world" special: What genius thought this up in the marketing department? But I kind of love William Shatner so clearly that marketing worked because I actually chose his "Heinz" as opposed to some of the other celebrities. And the final product: Mmm, microwavable hotdogs...

Mobile Paris: Nude Pics on the Go

I'm sure nearly all of ya'll have heard about some hacker or someone who busted into Paris Hilton's T-Mobile sidekick account. [Insert joke here about busting into Parish] Her pictures, phone book, e-mail and text messages all out there. I almost feel bad for this girl. Total invasion of privacy. But she's such a shrewd marketing mothaeffer that no doubt, like her sex video, she'll be able to make money off this as well. I would not be surprised to see her appear in a new T-Mobile commercial. The Defamer notes that her address book included the expected such as Lindsay Lohan, Christina Aguilera, Anna Kournikova but she also had the digits of Stephan King and a certain mysterious “Egplant Dike Ass”...who turned out to be MTV Latin America star Eglantina Zing (see below picture). Duh! Two dike asses With that, here's a NSFW shot for those of you who haven't been anywhere near a computer today of some of the pictures from Paris Hilton's sidekick: Second row, third from right is the bestest

Sunday, February 20, 2005

GMail: Not So Exclusive?

Remember back in the day when Google's e-mail service, "Gmail" was a coveted account? People were selling them on-line; I gave away a few extra Gmail invites to some of ya'll. Apparently, it ain't so special anymore: Um, yea, so I have 50 Gmail accounts to give away. Fity. There's a bad 50 Cent joke in all of this.

Saturday Night: Stan Visits

My boy from Brown and future doctor (I'm relying on all my med school friends to specialize in different fields so I'm always covered) came into New Yoke City and despite drinking heavily on Thursday night and Friday night -- my liver yelling, "Stop! No More!" -- I still had to go out once again for my boy Stan's visit last night. Mike and I met up with Stanley at Penn Station and then hopped in a cab for the Corner Bistro aka My Favoritist Burgers. Although it was farking retahded that the cab driver couldn't find the Corner Bistro -- Granted it's in a kind of obscure location, but come on'...all cabbies should know the Corner B. It was like a personal affront to me that he didn't know where it was. No tip for you! Stan and me Mike doing it right at Corner B. After one Bistro burger each, two fries and one chili cheese fries (money), and three beers each total, we were stuffed. Mike in particular was about to die while Stan was in a near food induced coma as he moaned, "I need coffeeee." We hopped into a cab (There would be no extensive walking that night with the cold weather and full stomachs): Mike is about to die from too much food We jumped out at ol' bar standby, Botanica. Ubiquituous flipping off the camera picture Sitting "three captain" as we made fun of the people walking by Mook came downtown Artsy picture of Botanica Beer O' Choice: PBR All night at Botanica, Stan was obsessing over this crack on the table wondering how it got there Botanica was a bit wack that night, so we headed out and decided to go to The Park on W. 17th and 10th Avenue. I don't generally go to these places especially when I'm wearing sneakers and rolling with three other dudes -- as handsome as we are -- and only one girl, but we surprisingly got in without much of an issue, although the door guy did take a second look at Mook's black shoes. Weird. I think I was the only dude wearing sneaks in that joint. But that night was about Stan and him having fun. The Park is Stan's element, as evident in his silly ass grin: He's likin' it I'm glad the Bloomberg crackdown on smoking inside bars and clubs isn't being enforced anymore. I think I 'bummed' six cigarettes from people in that place: Smokin' and drinkin' I'm not quite sure how to discuss this (I hope she never finds this site), but the girl rolling with us that night was brought in by Mook. She met up with right before we left Botanica. I forgot her name (I'm sorry -- I am the worst with names), but she was ... very short. Sweet girl, but we were all collectively thinking, "holy shit, she's fuckin' short." Not that that deterred my friend, Stan: Candid conversational action shot between girl and Stan We were at the Park for awhile. It was a funny night for me. I enjoyed mainly the people watching. I met a girl who knew me from this site (Hi, Minji's friend! I'm sorry I forgot your name. Like I said, I am the worstest with names) and I saw other people looking at me as if they knew me. The biggest low point last night was when some ass stole Mook's cell phone, wallet and iPod from his jacket. Fucking Bastard. I think we left the club around...4 and as we were milling around outside, a brawl broke outside. Unfortunately, I was so enthralled by the action, I forgot to take pictures. Some more funny stuff happened outside the Park which I can't really discuss here because I'd like to remain Stan's friend. Haha. But of course, those of you (eg. Winer) who want to know, just IM me. We all went our separate ways, and Stan and I took a cab back uptown and got off at Tom's Restaurant for some omlette and chicken tender action after which we got back to my place to crash for the night. Before all that however, we drunk dialed Mike, Winer and Allan in the cab: I think he was in the middle of yelling for Allan to pick up And took funny pictures: The End. Good times, Stan! Hopefully I'll see you again next weekend at Pat's kegger.

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