Wednesday, February 23, 2005

This Is What I Do While I'm On The Phone


My week thus far has been relatively uneventful. And if my liver was Marth Stewart, she'd say, "That's a good thing." I drank way too much. And although I went for a run today, I think I would have to run a marathon to burn off all the beer imbibed by me this past weekend. According to If you consume an average of 3 mixed drinks on three different nights a week, you will gain a pound every two weeks! That's my PSA (public service announcement) for all you drunk alcoholic fatties out reading this. That's why I drink Michelob Ultra. Not. My drinks of choice: Amstel Light and Goose & Tonic. The same website argues that even during social situations -- to not gain weight -- women should limit their drink to one drink per day. This would also negate the beer goggle effect for women. And that's a good or bad thing depending on your perspective. Interesting stuff, right? Anyhoo. I know rumors are flying around that Apple is releasing new mini-ipods very soon (eg. Tomorrow perhaps). Although I'm excited at seeing what's coming, I feel a little sick to my stomach because I just received mine a month ago as a birthday present...and although I totally heart it, I'm sure I'm going to covet the new mini's. That's the problem with technology: obsolescence. Speaking of technology, it is physically impossible for me to play Halo 2 on Xbox Live for less than at least two hours. I've tried firing it up for a quick 30 minute break 'fragging' random strangers...only to find myself forcing myself to turn off my Xbox a few hours later. If any of ya'll wanna take me on in the following games on Xbox Live, hit me up. My gamertag is "MattRod." I have these games for on-line play: Halo 2 (of course). Guilty Gear X2 Project Gotham Racing 2 Top Spin I'm a dork. Speaking of being a nerdork, I was in the library tonight and these two kids sitting across from me were goofing around and the girl stuck gum on the guy's arm. You're thinking, "whatever." Except this guy had mad hairy arms and they ended up spending the next hour trying to pick the gum off his arm hair, around which his skin was bright red. Memo to ya'll: Don't stick gum on anyone. This reminds me of high school when some girl put gum in this guy's hair. He had to cut it off. Doh. Actually, I heard peanut butter will get gum out of hair. In other news, in the world of Asian American related issues going on, one of my favoritist bloggers, the Angry Asian Man hits us up with a couple items:
:: Yao Ming opens a restaurant in Houston. That would be Houston, Texas. Not Houston Street in downtown Manhattan. Oh yea, and it will serve Chinese food. In case you were wondering. :: There's a new "Asian-culture" magazine coming to a news stand near you in March. It's titled Theme. Hopefully this one will stick around longer than 6 months... :: The dope actor, Kal Penn from Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle is going to be in the new "Superman" movie. Yay for Asians in Hollywood. Fo' reals.
Okay, here are a few funny/sad/crazy pictures from yahoo news: And lastly, I'm REALLY FUCKING EXCITED ABOUT THIS (and I'm putting in all caps just in case you don't understand the extent of my EXCITEMENT): The movie adaption of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy featuring....Mos Def and TIM FROM "THE OFFICE!" This guy (who I always call by his character's name from the BBC genius show, The Office") is rapidly becoming my favorite actor. See the trailer here.

Monday, February 21, 2005


Regarding Hunter S. Thompson...Fuckin' A. .

Celebrity Ketchup

I've had some quality hotdogs sitting around in my fridge and due to a lack of ketchup and mustard, I haven't had a chance to eat them until today. On my way home after class, I stopped by the deli and picked up the relevant condiments. The ketchup however, in particular, was special. Like "outta-this-world" special: What genius thought this up in the marketing department? But I kind of love William Shatner so clearly that marketing worked because I actually chose his "Heinz" as opposed to some of the other celebrities. And the final product: Mmm, microwavable hotdogs...

Mobile Paris: Nude Pics on the Go

I'm sure nearly all of ya'll have heard about some hacker or someone who busted into Paris Hilton's T-Mobile sidekick account. [Insert joke here about busting into Parish] Her pictures, phone book, e-mail and text messages all out there. I almost feel bad for this girl. Total invasion of privacy. But she's such a shrewd marketing mothaeffer that no doubt, like her sex video, she'll be able to make money off this as well. I would not be surprised to see her appear in a new T-Mobile commercial. The Defamer notes that her address book included the expected such as Lindsay Lohan, Christina Aguilera, Anna Kournikova but she also had the digits of Stephan King and a certain mysterious “Egplant Dike Ass”...who turned out to be MTV Latin America star Eglantina Zing (see below picture). Duh! Two dike asses With that, here's a NSFW shot for those of you who haven't been anywhere near a computer today of some of the pictures from Paris Hilton's sidekick: Second row, third from right is the bestest

Sunday, February 20, 2005

GMail: Not So Exclusive?

Remember back in the day when Google's e-mail service, "Gmail" was a coveted account? People were selling them on-line; I gave away a few extra Gmail invites to some of ya'll. Apparently, it ain't so special anymore: Um, yea, so I have 50 Gmail accounts to give away. Fity. There's a bad 50 Cent joke in all of this.

Saturday Night: Stan Visits

My boy from Brown and future doctor (I'm relying on all my med school friends to specialize in different fields so I'm always covered) came into New Yoke City and despite drinking heavily on Thursday night and Friday night -- my liver yelling, "Stop! No More!" -- I still had to go out once again for my boy Stan's visit last night. Mike and I met up with Stanley at Penn Station and then hopped in a cab for the Corner Bistro aka My Favoritist Burgers. Although it was farking retahded that the cab driver couldn't find the Corner Bistro -- Granted it's in a kind of obscure location, but come on'...all cabbies should know the Corner B. It was like a personal affront to me that he didn't know where it was. No tip for you! Stan and me Mike doing it right at Corner B. After one Bistro burger each, two fries and one chili cheese fries (money), and three beers each total, we were stuffed. Mike in particular was about to die while Stan was in a near food induced coma as he moaned, "I need coffeeee." We hopped into a cab (There would be no extensive walking that night with the cold weather and full stomachs): Mike is about to die from too much food We jumped out at ol' bar standby, Botanica. Ubiquituous flipping off the camera picture Sitting "three captain" as we made fun of the people walking by Mook came downtown Artsy picture of Botanica Beer O' Choice: PBR All night at Botanica, Stan was obsessing over this crack on the table wondering how it got there Botanica was a bit wack that night, so we headed out and decided to go to The Park on W. 17th and 10th Avenue. I don't generally go to these places especially when I'm wearing sneakers and rolling with three other dudes -- as handsome as we are -- and only one girl, but we surprisingly got in without much of an issue, although the door guy did take a second look at Mook's black shoes. Weird. I think I was the only dude wearing sneaks in that joint. But that night was about Stan and him having fun. The Park is Stan's element, as evident in his silly ass grin: He's likin' it I'm glad the Bloomberg crackdown on smoking inside bars and clubs isn't being enforced anymore. I think I 'bummed' six cigarettes from people in that place: Smokin' and drinkin' I'm not quite sure how to discuss this (I hope she never finds this site), but the girl rolling with us that night was brought in by Mook. She met up with right before we left Botanica. I forgot her name (I'm sorry -- I am the worst with names), but she was ... very short. Sweet girl, but we were all collectively thinking, "holy shit, she's fuckin' short." Not that that deterred my friend, Stan: Candid conversational action shot between girl and Stan We were at the Park for awhile. It was a funny night for me. I enjoyed mainly the people watching. I met a girl who knew me from this site (Hi, Minji's friend! I'm sorry I forgot your name. Like I said, I am the worstest with names) and I saw other people looking at me as if they knew me. The biggest low point last night was when some ass stole Mook's cell phone, wallet and iPod from his jacket. Fucking Bastard. I think we left the club around...4 and as we were milling around outside, a brawl broke outside. Unfortunately, I was so enthralled by the action, I forgot to take pictures. Some more funny stuff happened outside the Park which I can't really discuss here because I'd like to remain Stan's friend. Haha. But of course, those of you (eg. Winer) who want to know, just IM me. We all went our separate ways, and Stan and I took a cab back uptown and got off at Tom's Restaurant for some omlette and chicken tender action after which we got back to my place to crash for the night. Before all that however, we drunk dialed Mike, Winer and Allan in the cab: I think he was in the middle of yelling for Allan to pick up And took funny pictures: The End. Good times, Stan! Hopefully I'll see you again next weekend at Pat's kegger.

Friday, February 18, 2005

This Makes Me Laugh


Coopted Fashion By Barneys

Today was the start of the famous bi-annual Barney's warehouse sale at their Coop store. I'm a dirty whore for clothing and particularly "cool" clothing at 50 percent and more discount, so after my morning class, I trekked down to W. 17th Street to bump elbows with other New Yorkers at Barneys. For those of you who haven't ever gone, it's simply madness; imagine a pack of wild animals fighting over a tiny pond of water in the desert and it's something like that. On my way there, I saw these three birds just sorta chillin' out: I like how the middle one has his chest all puffed up Main coop entrance to right Mens section is in the dingy basement downstairs... My Purchases aka New Additions to Matteo Tee Shirt Collection:

Thursday Night: Beer Mishap

Last night, my buddy Patrick came up for a little bit of drinking and Halo 2...make that, a lot of drinking and Halo 2. First however, we went to the Columbia GSAS mixer at Philosophy Hall which was bumpin' (as "bumpin'" as it can get with a buncha Ph.D and M.A. students) with a couple kegs and wine and food, although by the time we got there all the poor starving grad students had eaten most of the food. Bastards. Anyway, we stayed there for awhile, parked next to the kegs. On our way home, we decided to stop by the grocery store for some food and a six pack of beer to take back to my apartment. Beer and Halo 2. Can it get any better? I submit it cannot. However, upon arriving in my apartment, Patrick made a horrifying discovery: The beer purchased...was in fact...:

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Marriage: An Excuse To Let It All Go

Dear Britney, Please rehire your celebrity personal trainer. Love, Matteo

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

The Presidential Fetish

This blogger noticed something one part hilarious and one part scary about Bush. He likes 'em bald. Evidence? Exhibit A:

A Few more Pictures of NYC Fun

Some of ya'll hated on it, but I stand firmly in support of the Central Park Gates. Go see them if you haven't yet. They are only gonna be up for...another 14 days, I think. Anyhoo. Here are a few more pictures from the walk through CP: Bethasda Fountain: Hey, Cat-- You can get to this place easily through the E. 71st entrance I think Jess took this picture This is really one of my favorite places in Central Park Jess and Me As we were walking through the park, we suddenly came upon this huge crowd focusing with binoculars and such on a ritzy Park Ave apartment building outside of the park. Turns out they were all there to check out the famous hawk who was almost evicted from his nest at the pricey building: See the dot?... Yay, the hawk! THE NEXT DAY ...We went to Chinatown for lunch and came across the finish of the Chinese New Year's parade. As if Chinatown isn't already crowded with tourists on weekends, this past Sunday afternoon was insane: Crowds Kids having fun with confetti Some 'rock' band performing...They look like Columbia students Man chillin' We finally got to the restaurant which is one of my favorite spots in Chinatown, but the wait was nearly an hour. Thank goodness for my iPod: Afterwards, I went to go pick up my new...Verizon cell phone. That's right boys and girls, no more shiT-Mobile for me. I now get reception all up in Butler Library. I'm not a fan however of getting charged 2 cents for every text message I receive. Doesn't seem fair somehow. Anyhoo, same number: Ma' new phone. I actually fucking paid 5 bucks to download Tetris on it. I need my games, man And then, Jess left the next day. Before she took off, she brought me a little present or rather a large present: an entire whole Junior's cheesecake [Insert "Arsenio Hall whoot whoot" right here]: MMM Yummy in my (fat) tummy

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